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The fact that a person can cope fairly well most of the time can betray the severity of the disability. For example, public schooling can offer individual counseling and assistance, and many universities have built in resources and made adjustments for students on the autism spectrum.
There are also increased opportunities for attending college from home or online. To start with, the Autism Society is a fantastic resource that can point affected adults in the right direction. Here are a few selections:. The best thing you can do is talk to your family physician. He or she knows your son and and can recommend a physician specializing in developmental-behavioral medicine who will be able to assess your son and if necessary prescribe a treatment regimen.
That should give you a list or place to start. Do not accept a referral to a neurologist, these disorders are not their specialty.
They are not equipped to do the DSVM testing. If you do not have a neuropsychologist within your medical facility your doctor can refer you out of network to get a consult and diagnosis with a Hospital or medical facility that has a Neuropsychology department.
Found this site helpful and very positive. My wonderful husband of more than 25 years was diagnosed with Asperges 3 mths ago.
Like many adults with Asperges he has amazing qualities and skills, the big thing is learning how to manage in situations that he finds very stressful. The bonus is we have a happy strong marriage.
Thanks for the site. So, so glad we could be of some use. You are both obviously fortunate, as well as strong. Good luck to both of you going forward. My husband of 47 yrs was diagnosed as an Aspie some time ago. He did not tell me until I approached him about 8 months ago, after a great deal of research..
Plus that fact that h has become so gun shy that he will not speak, or will agree with anything rather than argue nor admit the truth if he thinks it will cause a problem. My friends are a;; off doing and going and have really little or no time for an invalid. Thank you for writing in Nancy. My advice is to bring up your thoughts with a psychiatrist or psychologist, or at the very least, your family physician.
The diagnosis explains everything. How do you tell the owner of a large successful business that there might be something wrong with him? Thank you for writing Roslyn. I sympathize with both of your positions, and hope that you can find the common ground that allows for open and honest communication. Unfortunately, his self-consciousness is unfounded, as he clearly has strengths he should be enormously proud of. My advice would be to approach the conversation from that angle, rather than viewing it as a disease.
Good luck to you both. I have an adult brother 50yrs who has always had trouble academically and socially. He is a very kind-hearted person and at times I feel he is almost child-like. He attended private schools and still struggled. He has been out of work for 3 years and has had to move in with our mother due to his finances.
He has no medical insurance, no skill set and only a high school diploma. I am concerned for his future, and honestly, I am concerned that he will become my responsibility. I have mentioned this to my mother, but again she is in denial although she did tell me that when he was in elementary school, testing was suggested and she was offended-thus the move to private school. I have an adult brother that has been diagnosed with Aspergers.
He is smart, but socially out of touch and has violent outbursts. Since then our father has passed away and my mother is getting much older and the living with my brother takes a toll on her. It does not appear that any answers or replies have been given. I too am looking for some answers or help. I wanted to reach out to let you know that I am in nearly a similiar situation which is further complicated as my husband and I are trying to do an international adoption for which may cause complications if my brother is not able to find a way to more independently sustain himself.
I will not able to have him come live with us if my mother passes I am hoping to find some better answers to my concerns and care for my brother. If you or anyone on this forum have found any further helps, please share. This is sooo very disturbing. I had my daughter in therapy since she was 6. Her therapist of 8 years did NOT diagnose her correct. My daughter now is What do I do?
She appeared to be reading a book. She also would be everywhere watching. It made people angry. She also switched large personal plants on different floors as if she was controlling us. My niece and sister talk on and gush sentiment,leave long messages but have answering machines on cell or land line. My girlfriend of 3 years just happened to run across an Asperger video which lead her to the test.
She took the test as if she were me and then informed me of the results. I then ran across your test and decided to take it. This could explain so much about me that it is troubling. Anyway, thanks for the test, I think it could be a life saver eventually. I have been dating a man 55 yrs old for the past year whom I suspect may have undiagnosed Aspergers.
He was married 30 years and there was major communication issues it seems. How can I help him most and how can I help myself from the emotional rollarcoaster that it sometimes brings? Thank you for sharing your experience Valarie. Your concerns are legitimate: He or she can refer you to a specialist who can best diagnose the behaviors. Do you have access to a homeless shelter in your area? If so, oftentimes there will be a social worker on staff or who makes regular visits.
This person can be a tremendous resource for you. They can help you with many of the things you are struggling with well, maybe not the hot girl;. If there is no shelter near you, make a call to the nearest Dept. I am certain my mom has Aspergers Syndrom. After looking into thew symptoms, i am even more convinced. Shes a great worker although she can only secure minimal paying jobs.
She works in a kitchen and washed hair in a salon for more then 20 yrs. I never have talked to her about it. I bring her to appts, groceries, etc. There is a lack of that connection. Is there anything i can do to improve her life?
She calls times a day to say hello. Like i said, i feel awful that i want to dodge her call. Can u help me, help her? My husband recently came to me and said that he thinks he is autistic…I was dumbfounded, shocked, scared, bewildered, and many other emotions. He absolutely abhors social get togethers. Eye contact does not come naturally for him.
We are very blessed in that his fixation is on automobiles, he is like a car surgeon that knows just about everything there is to know to diagnose a problem and fix it on cars from the Model A or T to Rolls Royce to Jaguar etc…all makes, all years…it is an uncanny knack and he makes a good earning with it. Our marriage of 16 years has been an extreme struggle, full of many frustrations and difficulties. Yes, living with Aspergers is quite difficult.
I moved in with a friend of 45 years and after a year and a half I thought I was going nuts. I realize now, with all the help from the internet, that I need to encourage my friend to be tested but he is 72 and extremely rigid regarding anything different. The changes you need to make might just involve changing lighting to a lower level, adjusting sound levels in your home, or creating a new schedule.
If initial interventions do not help, a psychiatrist can prescribe medications which will provide your daughter with the help she needs.
If the psychiatrist prescribes medication, ask about dosage levels and, more importantly, side effects. You know your child better than anyone else; ask yourself if she can handle side effects like nausea, hypersensitivity, or prolonged sleepiness. These are all possible, depending on the medication prescribed. More information about Aspergers children doing well at school - but poorly at home - can be found here: My oldest son is like this.
I say he assimulates sp at school then when he hits the door at home all bets are off and he's able to breathe. Which sadly for us means it's on and it's ugly somedays! Maybe he is intimidated by bigger kids at school and he is reacting at home where everything is safe and friendly. Try and get to the bottom of his school troubles as a means to calm him down. In her words " Mommy, you love me no matter what even if I break something" Anonymous said He's also probably over-stimulated and all the tension from being so good all day is really stressing him out so he's acting out in his safe place.
My son was the same way, so we send him to school in the mornings and homeschool him in the afternoons to give him more down time. It's a good balance for us but doesn't work for everyone of course. My son has always been this way. They work so hard to hold it all together at school by the time they get home in their 'safe haven' they melt down.
I'd rather it be at home than at school or elsewhere though. However, it does wear you down after awhile. Im havin the same trouble as soon as he leaves school it starts but they wont diagones him cus he ok in school 4 2hrs even thow his behaviour so extreme at ome we got a surport worker health vistor social worker but im gettin no were Anonymous said Oldest has diagnosis already.
Middle child we are almost certain is an aspie too. But school not interested as he is a high achiever so not having detramental effect on his school work. Has recent family suituation which ment change in routine he "kicked off " worse than the oldest. Going again to gp as want referal for him. Hope they listen this time. Its drivin me mad my son is a very high achiever 4 a 3 year old so im not gettin much luck i havnt been to gp iv gone threw health visitor do u think i sud go to gp wud i get any further?
My son as passive aspergers he's really good in school when he gets home meltdown the problem when they r good at school aspergers never picked up by the teachers my sons wasn't it was a very good freind who noticed my sons traits Anonymous said See More Anonymous said Thank u so much 4 ur help im in a hole an cant seem to get out il get to gp monday thank u its so frustratin 4 me i need help Anonymous said Iv kept a diary over 2 months they sent me on parentin courses which did not help at all they tell things to do wid him but makin is behaviour worse an he cant cope wid it bless Anonymous said Thats exactly wot i had 2 do, i was fightin the system 4 4yrs, evn believd it was my 'parenting' at 1 point but my son is now in yr 3 at school n this has been his 1st full yr being full time in mainstream wivout a single exclusion!!
No it sudnt b a fight im fed up of tryin to prove it as if i wantd this 4 my son i just want him to b happy an settled Anonymous said Thats wot any good parent wants 4 their child n u wil get their in the end, i did and it was worth it. It was like that for us, but once we established routines for at home and stuck to them, he was better.
Stay positive and good luck! My son is 7, and for the whole of his short life I have had a huge gut feeling telling me my son is not like his siblings or other kids. I've known in my heart he has something different. He is great at school but look out at the end of the day, worst is if there was a issue.
I'm now on the road to getting answers for him as he knows he is different too: Just hard when he is not tricking all the boxes when he has assessments and is ok at school. My grandson who is 9 is the opposite. He acts up at school and isn't to bad at home. Structure is the key, I have found. It's a never ending battle. Now that school is out, he is acting up at home again.
My son is 11 and i have only just found out that he has Aspergers, i have always known he was a bit different and have been struggling with his bad moods and difficultness at home. I also hate it how some family members think it is your parenting that causes it! It breaks my heart, as all you want is for them to be happy and settled. I am glad i found this site.
I think a lot of times our kids work so hard to hold it all together when they are out and about, and then let loose at home where they feel more safe. All the anxiety and frustration tends to get bottled up and then let out again at home. I really believe in OT break during the day would alleviate alot of the meltdowns we are having immediately after school and all night - but since she is doing well there they don't really want to do anything.
My son is the perfect angel at school apparently and he comes home and completely melts down over the smallest things. I too have a hard time getting his teacher to take me seriously when he acts so well behavior wise in school and academically he's ahead of his class.
Only thing we get is a little bit of OT and even thats not much. It is not split personality. It is the fact that she comes home to decompress. She has to release the pent up frustrations of the day. We, her family, are the lucky ones that get to deal with her decompression. I am so glad that my friend Alex pointed this out to me. It made such huge sense when he did.
I've also tried to think of her after school meltdowns as a compliment that she's comfortable. Sounds crazy, but it's kept me from coming unhinged on several occasions. I also try to have some sort of snack or drink ready for when she gets in the car. We go home and decompress for a little while, may watch a few of HER shows.
Seems to work MOST of the time. They just use up every speck of self-control, self-soothing, and focus at school so have none left once they get home. We dealt with this for 2 years when my aspie was in public school - since homeschooling it is no longer an issue. It's hard to get services for a child who behaves well and doesn't have academic problems, even when it's obvious that her social skills make interacting with peers difficult.
Just yesterday, we attended a meeting at which I was told her day services will probably be cut because she's not currently an academic or disapline problem, but oh, come back if things get worse. They are exhausted when they come home. My daughter has the same, and I always keep in mind how hard the poor thing is working on behaving like the others at school.
Everyone has to be able to behave without filters or so much effort somewhere. This is in her IEP Ask the doctor who diagnosed to write something to school about how your child is affected by her anxiety. Also try teaching deep breathing and when they get home just let them check out and decompress for an hour or two. They need and deserve this time to just do whatever they need to do in order to calm down Read watch tv, play computer games, play with pets, maybe go outside and swing or spin.
My daughter used to spin on swing while singing and sometimes yelling or shreiking. We all know water is often very calming for these kids, so maybe painting with watercolors or playing in the bath tub will help.
And my daughter likes hugs so that pressure of a big hug can be calming as well. I know how you feel because my daughter used to come home everyday and just lose it. It's a long learning process.
Special children are given to special parents. I was always facing the good student, and well-behaved child to my being the overbearing personality and neurotic mother diagnosis. I'm glad he is well behaved at school, though. She only has so much energy to deal Sometimes I think the teachers at school think we are crazy!
But our schools just don't do them. The classroom can also do the sensory break. I'm thinking of homeschooling.